Her text wasnt anything special. Look, all I can do here is bring my own experience with the check up message since I have actually been on the sending end of one. The seriousness isnt that hard to figure out. I told him that there seems to be something wrong with him and I am cutting off communications with him for a while until he can get his mind right. Of course, once I have finished doing that I am going to move on to talking about the motivations behind why an ex boyfriend would send you that particular text message. And thats when something fascinating happens. So, rather than being set in his hate he would actively try to do something constructive. There was just one problem. He has shown up door crying and apologizing several times. She feels guilty on what she did to you and wants a clear concience through talk. Its about understand what is going on in your ex boyfriends mind. He also said I had all the success he wanted and hated he wasnt there yet in his career. Thats where the grass is greener syndrome comes into play. Understanding the seriousness of your relationship is one of those things that is going to be important for me to determine why he is texting you. If you receive a text message where your ex is bragging about himself you are receiving a brag about himself text message. He disappeared again for a month and a half. Help please Lets move on and talk a bit about some of the reasons for why an ex would send this message to you. Happy In Their Own World. Why would continue this for 15 months? In many cases, a guy will convince himself that texting is the right thing to do, but in reality, hes only doing it because hes scared to call her and get her to meet up with him. And that kind of leads me to my next point. After that brief introduction is over I am going to move on and give 3 to 5 examples of what those random text messages look like. I feel this will prove to be educational for you to determine if your ex is sending you this type of a text message. The following week same situation different woman. Another important fact that needs to be taken into account is the seriousness of the relationship. I didnt want to linger around too much since the man was 10 feet in front of me screaming right back at his soon to be ex. Factor Four: How Serious Was The Relationship. Since you have started the no contact rule he has reached out to you a total of three times and with each text you receive you can see him getting progressively angrier. Another reason why your ex might still be randomly texting you to say hi is. Keeping your emotional control when you do speak with him. Most guys try to do that (because theyre too afraid to call, or think she prefers text) and it doesnt work. He hasnt & very easily could have. You get excited and your heart beats as adrenaline pumps through your body. Your ex sees you as someone with temporary entertainment value, which is why you may . Thanks! I know part of you (even if you won't admit it out loud) is praying this means she's about to leave her new boyfriend behind to dash back to you with tears in her eyes. In fact, if you ignore enough test messages you will eventually get served a check up message. . Somy ex broke up with me out of the blue 2.5 weeks ago. All I was trying to say is that breakups tend to bring out some bad sides of people. I said I was taking my best friend (which is true but he obviously wasnt getting the answer he was looking for) he said that was awesome news & that was it. Of course, every once in a while you will get those exes who really, really, really miss you. Against my recommendation she ended up seeing her ex on that Friday and she ended up sleeping with him. The following morning, I felt fear of losing him because it was too good to true, especially for someone like me. however I knew that he was very busy with work and so was I. This is his way of getting an ego boost. But this begs an interesting question. And as for the future plans, make sure you do not bring them up wait to see if he does. I tried texting you to say hi before, but you didnt do anything about it. I once said that a mans genetic hard wiring makes him want to do two things above all else, The only way the human race can continue to survive is if men continue to replicate or mate.. The Complete Guide For Getting Your Ex Boyfriend Back, The No Contact Rule (The Definitive Guide), What Your Ex Boyfriend Says Vs. What He Really Means, Heres Exactly What Hes Thinking During The No Contact Rule, What To Do If Your Ex Boyfriend Blocks You. But I still havent answered the question. He refused to work through the issue and put no effort no matter how much I tried. If things ended poorly then he probably wont rely on you for a boredom text. Actually, I remember I literally thought, man I wish I had a card I could give him. 3. 4. I feel this is a motivation I can really get behind because I am this person. Eventually he is going to send a text where he bluntly asks where you went. Sometimes a woman will worry that her ex man will hook up with another woman and move on before she's had a chance to hook up with another guy first. We had a really amazing relationship, he truly adored me. Adding in that little so much is very insightful and it can tell us something about an exes mindset. It was this loud shrill sound and I thought to myself. You see, she took it that, that was a very good sign because men only want to sleep with women that they have feelings for. I told him I would be going out of town for the weekend and would make my decision after I got back. And sometimes when a man realizes that he isnt going to have sex as frequently now that he is single (studies back this up) he begins to regret his decision or he tries to set up a friends with benefits situation. Or he could just be feeling lonely and has other things on his mind too. In other words, he sent that particular text message for that particular purpose. Since telling him that, he keeps messaging me saying he misses me, begs me to message him, emailing me, liking my pics and posts on fb (he isnt a huge fb user and never likes or comments on anything by anyone). My situation is a little unique so I cant seem to find anything helpful online. You: Yes! His excuse was I was better than him and he still needed to find him self as a man (36 years old by the way). I simply got bored and there was no one else to talk to so in order to fill the time I text her. The same things can trigger you - a random reminder of the relationship, being alone and feeling uncomfortable with that because it's unfamiliar, one too many drinks, a movie or a . And went no contact. However, they also have a guilty conscious for something and cant help but ask for forgiveness. He was obviously shocked. You: I am still f*cking pi**ed at you, Your Ex Thinks: (Ok, she still needs more time.). For the record, I actually did pitch a perfect game in high school and I ended up striking out every single batter. Now he texts me a week later saying nothing. If you lack confidence, you will doubt yourself, waste too much time texting her and potentially lose her if she meets another guy who she feels much more attraction for. Also, another telling factor will be if he actually admits to you that he is bored like in some of the examples I gave above. So, if your ex randomly texts you to say hi, theres a good chance that its because she misses you and is thinking about you. However, I wanted to text her because I knew she would make things less boring. But it did shake me up and the entire day thats the only thing I could think about. Hed call me later. She broke up with me saying its not you its me. So I sent him a breakup text, he agreed and I told him we could talk has friends if he needed, he said ok. Then I left it at that & without warning started no contact. We decided to be friends, but I told him that I needed some space before I could do that. He broke up with me after a depressive episode, saying he fell out of love with life , and falling out of love with me was part of that. I still talk to my exes mom, I have no feelings for my ex. You read that right! One of my favorite quotes ever is from Frank Sinatra, The Best Revenge In Life Is Massive Success, I cant help but think of that quote when I think of this text message. Of course, sometimes the guys who are really slick wont brag about themselves but they will brag about their possessions. If you're the one who broke up with your ex-boyfriend, then he may be texting because he needs some answers. He might then ignore her text for days or a week or more to not seem needy and when he eventually replies she doesnt reply back (i.e. I was blind sided and didnt see it coming. Absolutely! Its a way of determining if you are still lingering around on the dark side of the force or if you have maybe calmed down to be a jedi yet. If you arent familiar with the show then let me give you some quick background for what I am talking about. If its anything related to sex or is surrounded by a bunch of texts that have sexual connotations then you may have a booty call text message problem. Am i doing the right thing here? Hed date this stripper for a month and come back to me. I absolutely do not recommend that you ask her to meet up with you via text messages. I have also been working on me and self care since the breakup. Hmm I am trying to think of a way that I can make this more interesting. Some guys are just impulsive and put things out there to test the waters. Thank you, Hey Alma if you want him back then use this as a window to open conversation between you both. You are correct that you need to avoid having the birthday conversation. If they ended relatively normally then that raises your chances. But thats what everyone thinks on the surface. Your email address will not be published. Therein lies our first clue at determining if an ex is texting you out of boredom. Turns out he went back to the stripper. So, simply pick up the phone and start triggering her sexual and romantic feelings for you by making her smile, laugh and feel good to be talking to you. She might text you out of the blue ask you a seemingly random question or maybe she'll be more direct and tell you she's thinking about you. You told me I'd have to. She is curious to see if he has been able to recover from the break up and move on. She must be could not drop her habit yet for texting you. We spent the whole day together and he had even got me a couple of things. He didnt commit and that was the last they ended up talking to each other after she realized that he was just using her for sex. Well, after the breakup he may end up missing the feeling of being the man and may make an attempt to reclaim his former glory. I felt so blind sighted, and it made me feel crazy, as if the year of my life I had just had with him was a lie. This might actually be the most terrifying text of all, as you have no idea what they want from you apart from your . (Side Note: I cover a lot of the I miss you messages in The Texting Bible). We didnt speak for 3 weeks, then he messages me about getting his clothes and shoes back that he left at my house. 4. 2. This is the third time my ex has reached out out of the blue. It seemed like he put a lot of thought into the text. Your ex-girlfriend or boyfriend may still think about what they did during the relationship. I was informed by a single friend that he was on one. I explained to her that, that wasnt necessarily true and that I usually see this with men who want friends with benefits. I went to the door and could hear a female. In high school I had a friend who was very insecure about his body. Arent I a god to them?. Well, then that might explain the underlying reason for why your ex boyfriend is randomly texting you. Suddenly a wk ago he texted me after 10 months. Simple, lets say that a couple was engaged and a man is operating under the assumption that the woman is very into him. He addressed me by a pet name he would use for me and claimed to genuinely care about how I was doing and wanting to check in. I mean, they say happy wife, happy life, right? Hi Sam.so sometimes the ex will do things to get attention.or to lash outor both. WAS HE JUST BORED? Given the choice between having consistent sex in a committed relationship versus having consistent sex in an undefined relationship youd be surprised how many men will jump on that friends with benefits train. This was certainly the case when I was being ignored. So, if you want to get your ex back, dont waste time playing games with her (e.g. After the breakup, we kept in contact via phone for a month. She no longer like you (note: I used like instead of love because she never loved you) you are no longer priority for her. It's only available here. Life has been good, but I have been missing you as well and she can then open up and say, Ive been missing you too.. As I think about it the only thing that makes sense to me would be the grass is greener syndrome. She wants him to take the lead in the ex back process without her help or reassurance. It'll just be a 'hey' or a 'yo' - or, if your ex is one of those people you really regret dating, a 'waazzzzuuppp'. I deeply miss him and would like to try to work through our differences because we truly were a good match. However, if you begin to drop on his scale then he will break up with you or find a way to get out of the relationship. Im just going to ignore her.. Sometimes a woman will miss her ex and send him a text to say hi because she was randomly thinking about him, or had been missing him sometimes and decided to act on that feeling. So its likely he is testing how you might react, though with his flip flopping, its best to proceed slowly and stay true to your Planassuming you are implementing No Contact. The break up was really hard for me. Lets tackle what the message says first. Basically any time that a man or a woman thought about sex they were supposed to click the clicker. You see, in my mind I was a god who women fawned over. Factor Three: How Did You End The Breakup? He starts to feel like he may have made a mistake in breaking up with you and thats when it happens. The Check Up Message (Figuring Out Where You Went), The Seriousness Of Your Previous Relationship, A slight hint of anger, confusion or concern, A bold statement that you are ignoring him, The timing of when he sends you the boredom message. After all, I have stated multiple times that men hate to be ignored. I flip flop on the idea of us getting back together. Whats more interesting is figuring out why he decides to text you when he is bored. I really wasnt sure how to respond or if to respond. Oh wait did I actually say that out loud? So, to keep tabs on him, she will continue texting him and asking . The things with her ex still dont work, and she wants to rebound again. This is why confidence is so important when getting a woman back. I did 30 days no contact nd reached out after and he said he was happy to hear from me, met in person he tried to hook up I declined. I am not going to lie to you. I would send it because its not looked at like a test. There is still a lingering question that I havent answered yet? And she really wants you to respond. Feel free to use every piece of these texts to make her melt. The assumption that we are going to operate under is the fact that you and your ex boyfriend have been broken up and he is texting you at random times post breakup. Weve had an on again off again relationship for years. My ex and I dated for 1 month. He wants you back. As he was the one that ended things & blocked me. It wasnt too fast, nor was it moving slow. (side note: Both of us work a lot. Not because I dont want to but because the balls in his court now and Im not going to show desperation. Hmm now that I think about it thats probably why so many people are drawn to PRO. Ive ran into him a few times in the last year. Our team won 20 0. Then, re-attract her and get her back at the meet up. One of the most common mistakes that people make when trying to identify the boredom message is mistaking it with building rapport. Some guys get scared that it wont work out, and bail. So, after I threw the trash out I went for a little walk trying to figure out where the sound was coming from and thats when I saw it. Is he playing games? 1.1 1. Your ex is throwing the ball in your court to see how you respond or if you even reply to them. he made us break up once but we got back together because we really missed each other. I dont recommend that you spend too much time thinking about what her motives could be. We traveled all over and spent a lot of time being active outdoors-camping, biking, hiking etc. This is the random type of text message that I can see myself sending to an ex. My ex girlfriend [ F23] of 5 years randomly texted me [M22] after about a year of no contact. He said he still loved me and acknowledged that our intimacy, connection and times we had together were the best he had ever had (which I believe and know to be true). Talking to them will only give them hope and they won't give up. 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